Message 574 of 22774 in Behind the Bar

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> being scottish myself I d be curious of what people thing of us as 
> customers

I'll add my broad generalisations here, with no intentional prejudice other 
than that which has bee picked up over more than one hands fingers worth of 
years serving a collection of all the folks I will venture to mention....
We as humans MUST categorise in order to make sense of an environment that is 
getting prograssively more diverse every year... so here's MY 
catagorizations...

Top of the list - 
DUTCH. The best customers overall. They order good drinks... not the most 
expensive necessarily, but the ones that make a good bartender nod and think 
they know what they want. They strike up good conversations with strangers 
across the bar, in any appropriate language. they have a reasonable amount, 
then go home. (great so far) And then they come back (even better)

IRISH. My boss hated them 'cos they broke things. Like giant buggers 
standing on glass coffe tables. Which is true. BUT they did so with a smile on 
their face. They would sing (loudly and badly) but with feeling and joy. They 
also would come back, either to apologise, thank us for a great time, or just 
because they liked the place. Good.

ENGLISH. However had an unforgivable tendancy to get absolutely mothered... 
then try to find someone to hit. That's Brits abroad. Back home, serving in 
Kensington and surrounds, I simply noticed a load of sad types drinking the 
same bitter in the same place day in day out. While it made for steady 
business economically, it was uninspiring in general. I felt sorry for the 
regulars. Untill they drank enough to reach the stage described above. So, up 
to a point, they are no trouble. Over that point, they are more trouble than 
the lot.
ALSO, they are the most likely to ask the price of every item before ordering.
And comb the bill later, as do Germans (who don't ask).
Yes they order themselves at the bar. Table service is wussy, they can pay for 
their 'round' at the time, plus that way they can avoid any stress over 
tipping (I fetched it myself - where's the 'service' in that)
((I personally agree with the above strategy))

_KIWI_'s. Having got so far, I must castigate my home country, New Zealand.
While nowhere near the extent of the Brits, NZ has a tendancy to BINGE drink, 
going all out to keep on drinking once they've started. Moderation is becoming 
more trendy, but having a Kiwi that stops drinking heavily without a good 
reason (like fire, flood, earthquake, or the bar closing) especially when on 
holiday, is rare.
AUSSIES I will put between Kiwis and Brits, except they get even louder than 
either, and their accents carry as badly across a room, club, or beach as 
(Northern, ex Canadian) Americans.

SCANDIVAVIANS (sorry for any over-grouping) have two drinks, astonished at 
how cheap anywhere outside of their home country is, then fall asleep. While 
they don't cause trouble, and the girls (heck, even they guys) do a good job 
of drawing a crowd, you don't make money off them. And the tips are just as 
likely to be a mistake than anything intentional ;-)

GERMANS in ones and twos are absolutely fine. They will order what they 
want, quite well. It's only after the bill is presented they may tell you that 
the last three drinks were sub-standard or overpriced. Or they will simply 
pay, tip even (?) and leave with a scowl because something unknown was 
substandard. That's worst case, most are actually fab. But get 6 young ones in 
a group and they can clear a room as quick as any American tour group. No-one 
wants to be in the vicinity.

_ITALIANS_, _FRENCH_, _GREEKS_,
Drink unreasonably slowly. This is in a large part due to the culture of 
buying a drink as a ticket to take a good seat then watch everyone else. 
Watching rates as number one as reason to go out in all those lands, drinking 
second or third. Not a bad thing overall, but it leads to anomalous behaviour 
taken out of context. Hence also a sort-of undeserved reputation as greasy as 
they are often seen just leaning and oogling. I can't say that being seen 
continuously chugging is any better ... ?

I cannot speak for Scots, sorry. I have never served them in bulk enough to 
draw a defendable opinion.

Um, I better stop before I offend the rest of the world. :-)

Sorry, that's the 'complaints' that I could come up with on a dull night - I 
actually love them all, as long as they come in and pay up!

Don't shoot me, just add your own!
.dan.