Message 5122 of 22774 in Behind the Bar

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Just to provide a minor caveat here:

Whilst most the above replies (ie Dan's, mine and rumrunner's) appear to be 
quite rude on paper, as with everything, it's all a matter of context. With 
these type of lines, delivery really is everything. I would never think of 
delivering such a line without a huge grin and a wee wink for the customer - 
just to let them know that it's not a personal insult (although really it is) 
and I will happily deal with anyone this whey. I imagine it's the same for the 
others who have posted here.

Heck, I've told Johnny Depp to stop being a dick:

Me: "Johnny. Ewe're being a dick. Stop being a dick and buy everyone a drink".
Johnny: "Yeah, you're right" (he doesn't know about the ewe thang, ewe see) 
and then he bought everyone a drink. It werks.