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Subject: More jokes - a new one and some old ones
From: Dan the Melon Man
Posted: Sun Mar 30. 2003, 23:53 UTC
Followup to: "Here's to Guinness"  by Zete  (Thu Mar 27. 2003, 21:22 UTC)
So Descartes walks into a bar...
The bartender says, "Hey, Renee! Care for a beer?"
Descartes replies, "I think not."
And he vanishes! 

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No, I will not explain it.
Better luck with:
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A termite walks into a bar and says "Is the bartender here?" 

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A woman walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a "double entendre".
So he gave her one.

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And off 'tending for a bit, this one had me laughing for ages:
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A young man joins the monastary, and is assigned to the scriptorium. He is 
doing well, but after six months or so of copying texts he goes to the monk in 
charge and asks a question:
"Reverend Brother, I know that I must make every effort to ensure that the 
text I am copying is accurate, but how do I know the source I am using is also 
correct?"
"Do not worry my son, the text you are working on is accurate."
"But, excuse my impudence, I cannot see how that can be."
"What do you mean?"
"I am creating a new copy of this text from a copy that was itself copied from 
still another copy, and so on down the line. Is it possible that some small 
error may have crept in over the years?"
"My son, the work we do is divinely inspired, but to show you the power of our 
faith, I will take the copy you are working from, and bring it down to the 
locked vaults. There I will compare it to the original, and they will be the 
same. Will that not prove the power of Our Lord?"

So, the brother takes the copy down to the vaults, where no-one but he and the 
abbott are allowed. He's gone for days. The other brothers in the scriptorium, 
and eventually the entire monestary become concerned. But they dare not 
disturb the vaults. Finally, they go to the abbot and explain the situation. 
he leads the group down to the vaults. They knock several times but receive no 
answer. Finally, the abbott unlocks the vault. They find the brother sitting 
at a reading desk, the two versions open in front of him. He is emaciated and 
hollow-eyed, there are obvious tear streaks on this cheeks, the text closest 
to him has become water-damaged, his habit is rent and torn, and there are 
clumps of hair on the floor.
"Brother, brother, what is the matter? What is the meaning of this? What has 
happened?"
He looks up with an expresion of utter dispair and futility......

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
(wait for it)

 
 
 

 
  
 
 
 
 
 

"The word was 'celebrate'!"

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.dan.


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