Message 827 of 22774 in Behind the Bar

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Howdy online folks. I would like to say thanks to playboytender, queneau69, 
and others whose advice recently helped me to land my first gig here in New 
Orleans. Here is how I did it: 

1. Bullshit. I claimed to have worked in the service bar at the (mythical) 
restaurant owned by a friend willing to lie for me. I'm a drinker and many of 
my friends here are bartenders, so I know something about mixology. However, 
during my first shift it was immediately clear to the chick training me that I 
didn't know what the hell I was doing. But I lucked out, because the second 
thing that helped me get this job was:

2. Boobs. Thank god I am cute enough to have other failings overlooked. One 
reason I was hired was that the owner thinks this bar could use more, ahem, 
"skirt." This goes back to the recent discussion here about lots of bars 
hiring talentless but booblicious girl tenders. Here in NOLA that's a fact in 
certain bars, some even specify height and weight. That may suck but if you're 
going to those bars, then you are a tourist in town to get drunk and look at 
boobs, and you deserve to pay ten bucks for a shitty drink on Bourbon Street. 
There are plenty of bars in this town, most notably at hotels or fancy 
restaurants, which employ older, less attractive, and/or male tenders, who are 
valued for their talents rather than their looks. I personally feel that if my 
customers want to give me a three dollar tip so they can watch me jump up to 
hit the tip bell, well then, bring it on, that makes everyone happy.

Here are some things I learned during my first few shifts:

1. It hurts. My feet, back and shoulders are killing me. Older folks like 
Seeker need to think about that. I'm almost 30 and can see burnout happening 
within 5 years.

2. You have to know sports! People continually come in and ask what the score 
is or whether we're playing such and such a game. I guess the fact that my new 
place of employment is called a "sports bar" should have tipped me off... Also 
we run numbers so it helps to know about that.

3. There is no substitute for experience. I think the best and possibly only 
way to learn this job is on your feet.

4. Queneau69 is right about being a fount of info. In a tourist town like 
Paris or New Orleans that goes double, including where to eat, where to stay, 
who the Saints (or whomever) are playing this week, and how to get around town.

5. You must be able to deal good-naturedly with drunken assholes. This sounds 
obvious, but during my very first shift, my own boss got wasted and smashed up 
the bar with barstools, his fists, anything not nailed down. He smashed the 
bartop video game, twice, and threatened to kill some guy who was trying to 
calm him down. It was pretty exciting. But I've seen that kind of thing go on 
around here a lot. I guess you just have to stay cool and keep on pouring.

So far I love this job and can't believe I never tried it out before. Sorry 
about the long post but I guess I had a lot to say. peace folks.