Message 11199 of 39188 in General Discussion

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That's nothing.
A coupla years ago, I chipped an incisor winning a bet with a customer as to 
whether or not I could drink a pint of Guinness without using my hands. Lost a 
tooth, won the bet. Later that night, the local rep from Lucky Strike called 
in to present us with scooters for selling so many cigarettes. The Queneau 
duly accepted the scooter, drank far too much Bushmills, and proceeded to 
cycle home on the scooter, only to have a violent argument with a wheelie bin 
at 35 k/ph. Accepting defeat, the Queneau put his new friend under his arm, to 
walk the remaining 200 yards home. Bushmills inspired myopia, however, 
precluded the Queneau from noticing road works ten metres from his home, 
resulting in the drunken muppet falling ten feet down a very obviously marked 
open manhole and causing serious fractures to several metacarples. When I got 
home, I discovered I had left my keys in the bar, and resorted to sleeping 
under a bush, until the Parisian authorities deigned it appropriate to switch 
on the sprinklers at 6a.m.
My dream is to die winning a Darwin Award.
Yes, I am that stupid.