The Webtender
Bartender's Handbook

Intoximeter

With this gadget you can calculate your blood alcohol level (roughly). Different people use different time to get sober, so this is only meant as a funny gadget, not an exact measurement (in fact, it may not be that exact either as it doesn't take the time between the drinks into account).

How it works: The alcohol will add to the water in your body. An adult male consists of 60-80 percent water, and an adult female of 50-70 percent water. (That is why women get drunk quicker than men.) The blood alcohol level will be reduced by about 0.015 percent per hour.

And please never drink and drive, even if you only had one beer it will affect your ability to drive safely.

Your consumption: bottles of beers (12oz or ⅓ liter)
  glasses of wine (5 oz or 15 cl)
  shots of liquor (1 oz or 4.5 cl)
Your body weight:
Sex:

Time since last drink: hours.

Blood alcohol percent.
Time left to sober up:

The Human Body's Reaction to Alcohol

Blood alcoholPhysical reaction
0.02% The ability to perform complex tasks is reduced. You get a little tense and hot.
0.05% You get more excited.
0.08% You really get "in the mood". Memory is weakened. You exaggerate things and speak loud.
0.10% Looses control of muscles and emotional feelings. Most people stop drinking at this level, so should you!
0.15% You are really drunk. Staggering, nausea and sleepyness.
0.20% You experience problems speaking. See things double.
0.30% You are dead drunk. No sense of what is happening around you.
0.35% - 0.40% Unconsciousness or coma. Reduces respiration. Risk of suffering brain damage is high, even dying.
Over 0.40% GAME OVER - You most likely will die.

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