The Webtender
Bartender's Handbook

Liquor Story

JOHNNY WALKER was hunting with
MARTINI & ROSSI when he met
HIRAM WALKER coming down
COBBA CREEK with
QUEEN ANNE who lived on the
CUTTY SARK up in
HUDSON'S BAY near the
GREEN RIVER.

He took her, smelling like
FOUR ROSES over to the
TOWN TAVERN where he removed her
GOLD LABEL and tickled her with
THREE FEATHERS until she was
BLACK & WHITE and dying for his
CANADIAN CLUB with the
RED CAP .

He put his
STANDFAST in her
JORDAN VALLEY so they rented
OLD OVERHOLT'S room at the
MARYLAND CLUB and it was
PERFECTION when he stuck his
WHITE HORSE into her
VAT '69 times and pumped his
TEACHER'S HIGHLAND CREAM until her
OLD DRUM was stretched as wide as
MOUNT VERNON, and being
SCOTCH he didn't even give her a
SILVER DOLLAR.


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