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 Message 13839 of 22774 in Behind the Bar
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Subject: My favourite comeback!
From: mietzemixer
Posted: Wed May 31. 2006, 22:55 UTC
Let me start by saying that my patience is usually endless. The last time I 
yelled was over 2 years ago. Probably not the healthiest, but besides the 
point.

I understand that people want drinks when they're at my bar. I also understand 
that when I'm slammed with bar customers, lounge tables, PLUS the service bar 
for a 150 seat restaurant, I am not always paying minute attention to people 
at the bar, especially when I've only just gotten them a drink.

So when a bunch of lawyers (in town for a conference) needed a round, I was 
happy to pour them. What I wasn't happy with was that as soon as I walked 
away, one of them decided that the best way to get my attention (needed a stir 
stick) was to bang on the bar, then to snap his fingers and whistle, then 
finally to whistle and yell "Hey, Snookums!! C'mere!"

Urge to kill rising.

But I simply walked over and said, "yes?" To which I got "woah you must be 
PMSing or something bitch, what's your problem?" etc etc. I very nearly 
snapped. Instead, I replied (in as loud a voice as I ever use without 
shouting):

I may be a bitch, sir, but I don't have four legs and a tail. You snap your 
fingers, whistle, or otherwise demean me again, and you'll see how bitchy I 
REALLY can be. 

To which he replied, "What, exactly, is that supposed to mean? Are you 
threatening me?"

His friends were shocked at first, then laughed and said, "Hey man, what she 
means is that she'll be the unchained pit bull and you'll be the mailman!!!!"

Thank you gentlemen. And no, that wasn't a threat. It was a PROMISE.


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