I think you handled it about as well as can be expected. If the bar is full -
you can get the other customers on your side. But empty with a violent drunk?
Get the boss in there. If the boss does not back me up when I stop serving
someone, I let him/her serve the guy.
However, after 20 years of tending bar, I do recommend a few tips:
1. Don't lose your temper or control of your bar.
2. Never negotiate with a drunk. Any suggestions you make must be win/win on
your side. Don't let them get their foot in the door. Many drunks will try to
"out talk" or "out logic" you. It isn't worth the hassle.
3. Do not change your mind. Drunks have time to kill - especially when they
have been cut off. If you play the game - "you can have a beer if you drink
coffee for an hour" - damn if some of these guys will wait you out. Just to
"prove" you wrong. If they leave and come back in a few hours - toss them out
again. They are just trying to piss you off.
4. If they become abusive - really loud, threaten you, threaten someone else -
end it right there. One someone uses the "f" word to me, they are cut off -
even if they are sober.
5. Don't mention their behavior - if they ask, "why can't I have another
drink? Have I been mean to you?" Don't say, "because you are drunk" (legal
reasons), or "you just drank out of the ashtray," or "you are stumbling." Just
give them the concerned bartender speech to try to calm them down.
6. Blame someone else. "Gee, I'd love to serve you," but (1) the cops around
here are really tough, (2) I have to work my other job in the morning and need
to leave soon, (3) my boss is a jerk and won't let me serve any more, (4) I'm
new / old and don't want to break the rules, or whatever.
7. Over the years, most of my bosses have been good and backed me up.
Sometimes I have had to say, "it's my bar and my call. Come back in the
morning and tell my boss that I wouldn't serve you. I am sorry this upsets you
but I will not serve you another drink." (And if they put up a fight, say "I
still will not serve you, here is your tab and have a good night.")
I admit, I have one huge advantage. I am short, old, and non-threatening. No
one would even bother trying to punch me out. But when I was about 25, I had a
businessman go crazy when I told him I wouldn't serve him anymore. He stood up
and drew quite a crowd he was yelling so loudly. He said I was a punk kid, I
was full of shit, a liar, a cheat, and that I was on this huge ego trip for
cutting him off. I held up my hand for a pause when he started to wind down. I
asked, "are you going to make fun of my mother now?" He said, "what??" I said,
"are you going to make fun of my mother now - you have called me every name in
the book." He just sputtered and said, "ok, your mother is ugly."
By then, he lost his momentum and the whole bar was laughing at him. The next
day he came in and apologized.
And on the legal end of things, many drunks lie. I was working one night and
the girl at the other bar was having problems with a bunch of college kids.
They said, "oh, don't worry, we have a driver to pick us up at closing time."
At last call, all 5 of them, completely wasted, flipped her off, called her a
bitch, and said, "screw you, we're all driving home." I had the boss call the
cops on them.