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 Message 576 of 22774 in Behind the Bar
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Subject: Re: Comebacks and oneliners
From: Mud
Posted: Mon Sep 16. 2002, 09:21 UTC
Followup to: "Comebacks and oneliners"  by petewalpole  (Mon Sep 2. 2002, 11:27 UTC)
> We all know the frustrations of having drunken people shouting orders 
> at you for 8 hours a day can become a little tiresome how about some 
> favourite one liners to quieten some of our more boisterous guests
> 
> Agood one i heard from a waitress the other day when some one was 
> trying to get her to serve him by wiggling his finger in the air was 
> " sorry love it takes more than one finger to make me come"
> 
> A group of beautiful russian girls came in the other day and i gave 
> them the old favourite line " do you see anything you fancy behind 
> the bar " this went straight over ther heads but gave us all a good 
> laugh.
> 
> One time a south african guy came into the irish bar wher i was 
> working and started giving out that i was english and whatwas i doing 
> working in an irish bar i turned around and said " you're south 
> african mate what the hell are you doing drinking in here" this put 
> all his friends in stiches and shut him up
> 
> There have been many more that ican't remember but you guys and girls 
> must have some stories that can brighten up my evenings.
> 
> Pete

One of my favorites was during a park festival half a block from where I 
worked. Total strangers all night, no regulars anywhere so it was a night to 
let loose. People would stand at the bar, ordering to no one in particular, 
just repeating their order "I need (your drink here)". It's fun to say 'what 
you need are manners, what you want are drinks', often to the giggles of 
surrounding women. It was worth every penny of the 21 1/4 cents I would have 
made on that drink!
  I also recommend for finger-snappers or whistlers is to tell them "You are 
either calling your dog or your girlfriend/wife, because you cartainly aren't 
calling me". These are enhanced by being old when you say them, good luck!
                                                        Mud


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