WOMEN WHO DRINK:
Drink : Beer.
Personality : Casual, low maintenance; down to earth.
Approach : Challenge her to a game of pool.
Drink : Cocktails or Blender drinks with umbrella.
Personality : Flaky, annoying, dizzy, and a pain in
the ass.
Approach : Avoid her, unless you want to be her cabin
boy.
Drink : Mixed drinks - no umbrellas eg; Scotch and
coke/dry
Personality : Mature, has picky taste; knows what she
wants.
Approach : If she wants you, she'll send YOU a drink.
Drink : Water
Personality : Pretentious and is looking for a serious
relationship.
Approach : Don't.
Drink : Wine - (bottled not 4 litre cask)
Personality : Conservative and classy, sophisticated.
Approach : Try and weave Paris and clothing into the
conversation.
Drink : Bacardi Breezer, Lemon Ruskie, West Coast
Cooler, etc
Personality : Easy; thinks she is trendy and
sophisticated actually has absolutely no clue
Approach : Make her feel smarter than she is...and
you're in.
Drink : Baileys.
Personality : Annoying voice, bit of a tart.
Approach : Stand close and mention the alley next to
the pub.
Drink : Shots and Slammers (Tequila, Vodka, Aftershock
etc.)
Personality : Hangs around with male work pals or
looking to get drunk...and naked.
Approach : Easiest hit in the pub. Nothing to do but
wait.
----------------------------------------------------
IF MEN DRINK
As always, very simple and clear cut. . . . .
Cider : He's probably under-aged and wants to get
laid. . . . .
Cheap Domestic Beer : He's poor / student and wants to
get laid. .
Premium Local Beer : He likes good beer and wants to
get laid. . .
Bitter : He's old, he likes good beer and wants to get
laid. . . .
Imported Beer : He likes expensive beer and wants to
get laid . . .
Guinness : The man is a rapist and will get laid one
way or another. . .
Water : He just threw up and is trying to wash the
taste out of his mouth and still wants to get laid . .
.
Wine : He's hoping that the wine thing will give him a
Sophisticated image and help him get laid. . . . .
Vodka or Brandy : Extremely horny hound, would shag a
warm scarf... Desperate to get laid. . . . .
Port : Thinks he's sophisticated, secretly likes men
and wants to get laid. . .
Whisky : He doesn't give two $hits about anything and
will hit anyone who will get in his way of getting
laid. . .
Jack Daniels : Not as masculine as the whisky drinker,
knows all about feminine activities (knitting, crochet
etc.) to weasel himself into getting laid. . . .
Rum or Tequila : Likes fighting almost as much as
getting laid. . .
Bacardi Breezer, Lemon Ruskie, West Coast Cooler etc :
He's gay (Blatantly) don't turn your back or pick up
any dropped change.
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